Sunday, November 4, 2007

Southern Mississippi and Alabama

This section has some of the creepiest places i've seen on this trip. The scariest white people in the country...
None of the backroads in mississippi were marked. Fortunately, my maps were good. The route zig-zagged through some very isolated ''cool hand Luke'' paved backroads. The roads were lined with evergreens, swamps and occaisional trailers. Most of the cars/trucks were vintage primer-gray fords and chevys belching black oily smoke. Many had confederate flag decals or flags on the antennae. I passed many random trash heaps as well.
Because the roads weren't marked, at several intersections I had to ask passersby if this was the road to such and such... Most seemed put-out by a stranger asking them questions.
One primer gray truck with three rough looking guys stopped at an intersection for me. The driver had a bandana on his head and a tee-shirt with a silllohette of a pole dancer that said, '' support single mothers.''
He verified the road that I was on. His buddy on the passenger side looked just like charles manson. He hollered at the driver in a slurred voice, ''where's the pecker trying to go?'' the driver shot back, ''shut the fuck up you tool!''
There were no campgrounds or other options, so I road back an old logging trail and found the most discrete place I could find to set up camp... I was a bit uneasy...
No hassles in camping, except I woke up and my rear tire was flat. I fixed the flat and got going well enough...
It was sunday morning and I was astonished at the number of people who honked and harrassed me to get off the road... the most intolerant drivers i've encountered... Especially on the border with southern alabama.
Of note was a church bus that came up on my rear honked it's horn continuously until it pulled along side and the fat old fart driver with high and tight grey hair and horned rmmed glasses wagged his finger at me and mouthed, ''get off the road!''
There were six passengers. The slightest among them tipped the scales at 250. All were in their starchiest sunday best. All six peered their moon faces at me and stared at me as if I were the strangest thing that they had ever seen. they stared with preposterously large black eyes, magnified by coke bottle lenses in their black horn-rimmed glasses. Their lipless vacuole-like mouths dialated and constricted rapidly with every breath they took. They looked at me as if I was racing them to church so that I could steal their money and rape their women.
Sensing the threat that I posed, the driver sped off, driving God's chosen off to heaven.
Alas, I was left behind...

2 comments:

Shelley Miles said...

Sounds even scarier than the speeding utility truck you encountered on your close call,,,

Sharon said...

That was the most epic and engaging depiction of your travels you could have given...I think I'm using the last bit as a long quote.

Also: wow. Way to keep up with delightful Southern conservative Christian stereotypes, Busload O' Fatties.